It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

Written By Shelley Tantau

Destigmatizing Mental Health and Embracing the Power of Help-Seeking

We all have seasons when things feel harder than they should. When the weight of everyday life presses down and nothing seems to help. If that sounds familiar, you're not alone—and you're not broken. You’re human.

In a world that celebrates resilience, independence, and “pushing through,” admitting you’re not okay can feel like failure. But here’s the truth: it’s okay to not be okay. Struggling is part of being alive. And asking for help is one of the bravest, most life-affirming choices you can make.

Let’s talk about what mental health really looks like—and why seeking care is something we should all feel empowered to do.

What Mental Health Can Look Like

Mental health isn’t black or white. It exists on a spectrum and can fluctuate over time, even day to day. It might look like:

  • Persistent sadness, anxiety, or irritability

  • Trouble sleeping, eating, or focusing

  • Pulling away from friends and family

  • Feeling numb, stuck, or hopeless

  • Having thoughts of self-harm or suicide

For some, it’s a diagnosed condition like depression, bipolar disorder, PTSD, or ADHD. For others, it’s the cumulative weight of grief, trauma, burnout, or systemic stress. None of this makes you weak. It makes you human. And help is available.

How Common Is It?

Mental health struggles are far more common than most people realize:

  • 1 in 5 U.S. adults (22.8%) experienced mental illness in 2021—over 57 million people

  • 1 in 6 youth (ages 6–17) experience a mental health disorder each year

  • Suicide is the second leading cause of death among people ages 10–34

  • Half of all lifetime mental illness begins by age 14; three-quarters by age 24

  • On average, people wait 11 years after symptom onset to seek treatment
    (Source: NAMI, 2023)

Let that sink in: these are not rare experiences. They’re common. And treatable.

The Pandemic Made Things Worse

The COVID-19 pandemic didn’t just shake our health systems—it profoundly impacted our collective mental health.

  • In 2020, the CDC found that 41% of U.S. adults were struggling with mental health or substance use issues, with 11% seriously considering suicide

  • Among teenage girls, 30% seriously considered suicide in 2021—an alarming rise from previous years

  • Rates of anxiety and depression increased globally by over 25%, especially among women, young people, and frontline workers
    (Sources: CDC, WHO, JAMA)

Isolation, fear, economic stress, and grief all compounded what was already an unmet mental health crisis. And even now, millions continue to live in the aftershocks—without the support they need.

Why We Don’t Seek Help (and Why That Needs to Change)

Despite how common mental health struggles are, many still feel ashamed to talk about them—let alone seek treatment. The reasons vary: fear of being judged, internalized stigma, cultural or familial beliefs, lack of access, or the myth that “you should be able to handle it on your own.”

Here’s the reality:

  • Stigma prevents people from getting life-saving care

  • Mental illness is not a personal failing

  • Medication and therapy are valid, evidence-based tools—not a sign of weakness

It’s not shameful to treat your heart, your skin, or your lungs. Your brain deserves the same compassion.

The Benefits of Getting Help

Seeking mental health support—whether through therapy, medication, or both—has profound and measurable benefits:

Therapy & Support

  • Talk therapy reduces symptoms, builds resilience, and decreases the likelihood of relapse

  • Group therapy and peer support foster belonging and reduce isolation

  • Early intervention in adolescents can prevent full depressive episodes later in life

Medication

  • Antidepressants and mood stabilizers significantly reduce suicide risk and can stabilize mood and functioning

  • Fast-acting medications (like ketamine in specific cases) can rapidly reduce suicidal ideation
    (Source: JAMA Psychiatry, NIH)

Suicide Prevention

  • Health systems using the Zero Suicide framework have seen 25% fewer suicide attempts

  • Follow-up care after a suicide attempt dramatically lowers the risk of another attempt or death
    (Source: CDC, JAMA, Zero Suicide Institute)

Workplace & Life Functioning

  • Treatment for depression + return-to-work support reduces sick leave by 25+ days per year

  • Employers who invest in mental health see improved productivity, morale, and retention
    (Source: U.S. HHS, JAMA Health Forum)

In short: help helps.

You Deserve Support—Without Shame

It’s time to normalize mental health care in the same way we do physical health care. That includes:

  • Speaking openly about mental illness and recovery

  • Valuing medication and therapy as tools—not last resorts

  • Creating communities where people feel safe saying, “I’m not okay”

There’s no one “right way” to heal. But the path starts with honesty, support, and self-compassion. You don’t have to wait until things get unbearable. You don’t need to earn your struggle. You are allowed to seek help—just as you are.

Final Thought: You’re Not Alone

If you’re struggling, please know this: you are not alone, and your pain is not a weakness. It’s a signal that something inside you needs care.

Healing is possible. It starts with one brave step.

It’s okay to not be okay. But you don’t have to stay there.

Resources

Shelley Tantau
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